If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
