and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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