he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
