I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
