is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
