Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
