We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
