my sisters under your porch take her home
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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