I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What a dumb baby whore.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
