question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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