Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
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