No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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