Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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