I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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