If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
