She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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