I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
