i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
