So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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