Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
