you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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