Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
false alarm, still single
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
