shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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