Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
