His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
