The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how can u be prego again
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
