So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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