Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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