did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm passing your future prison.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
