My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
