dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
