Quick, to the slutcave!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
