oh god the rape fog is back!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
