She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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