Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Redeem this text for a blowjob
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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