what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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