Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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