office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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