You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
