Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
