yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
