we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
