i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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