im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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