you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
