So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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