matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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