butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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