he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
