i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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