You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
