I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
