sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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