she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
