Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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